I am going home in three days, home back to Kandern. That statment may seem pretty simple, but for me please understand the context. Like many people who have grown up in many different places, home is somewhat of an ambiguous or nebulous idea. For a long time I defined home as where my parents resided. That changed for me when I was married, as being with Kristin became my home. While I feel home when I am with her, there is something about a physical location that I still identify with as "home". Most recently, before the move to Philadelphia, this place, this location, would have been the San Francisco Bay area. I have spent the last seven years there, and it was home. Oregon was never home for me, even in college I could not wait to go either down to Santa Cruz or back to Kandern. Now that I am out of the bay area, a physical sense of home has shifted back to where I grew up. So when I say that I am going home in three days, I am going back to where I sense that physical identity of home. I don't know when I will feel home in Philadelphia, perhaps I never will, like Oregon. For now, I am excited to engage with my sense of home, and not just for nostalgia of growing up. I am looking forward to remembering where I came from, what shaped me, assessing how far God has taken me. I am looking forward to realizing how much grace means to me more now than it did growing up. This I believe I will encounter when I go home and remember what happens when a self righteous kid gets put through the ringer of Gods mercy and grace. My top three things I want to do when I go home:
1. Take lots of walks with Kristin, and tell her stories about growing up I couldn't remember without being in those specific locations
2. Pray for my friends that I still have from going to school at Black Forrest Academy
3. Take pictures of things that are important to me, as this might be the last time I ever go to Kandern
No comments:
Post a Comment