Gratitude

Recently I have been reflecting on situations for which I am grateful surrounding the upcoming birth of our baby. Here are a few:

1. A few weeks ago, Ben finished one of the most challenging semesters he's faced thus far in seminary. He completed 20 units at Westminster. 20 units would be a lot anywhere, but at Westminster, it's practically a miracle. I witnessed determination, discipline, and passion on a level I had not yet seen in him and I am so proud. He took this heavy load with the hopes of graduating in May and in order to have the month of January free to spend more time with our baby. Grateful for the timing of it all-that he finished the semester before her birth and will have several weeks to spend with her stress-free before returning to his LAST semester of seminary. Pretty much from the moment he finished his semester he's been taking care of me non-stop. I am humbled by his service and patience and love.

2. In August I began working in the pediatric ICU at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. I am grateful for the experience, all of the training I have received as a nurse, a paycheck, and the families and patients who have allowed me to care for them. The position has presented many challenges (being 7-9 months pregnant didn't help with learning a lot of new stuff, or with being physically agile) but I'm fortunate to have received a lot of grace from coworkers and supervisors. I feel especially privileged to be working in this unit because of the unique opportunities to spend time with families during vulnerable periods…the grief over a suffering child, the uncertainty of a new diagnosis, the fragile victory of improvements, or just the exhaustion that comes from a stay in the ICU.

3. Related to #2, I have taken care of a lot of children who were born weeks or months too early. I've become familiar with the challenges that come with prematurity, even those that last well into childhood and beyond. These kids have touched my heart and I deeply admire their caretakers. I am grateful for each week that passes that my baby continues to develop on the inside, knowing what challenges I am being spared of as a future parent.

4. Also related to #2, I was nervous that working in an ICU would expose me to a lot of germs that could be harmful to the baby. Everyone says your first year as a nurse is when you get sick the most because of all the exposure to new germs. Thus far I have not gotten sick once and I am grateful that the Lord has watched over me, protecting me from sickness and injury while taking care of very challenging and very sick patients.

5. My mom arrived in Philly on Friday night and will be able to spend a few weeks with us. She also treated me to the New York City ballet's Nutcracker on Sunday. She used to take me to this performance in San Francisco growing up, and it was very special to enjoy it with her and our future ballerina in such a fun place. I'm so grateful for my mom's service to us and her generosity. I'm grateful that baby girl stayed inside until her Mimi got here and that her Mimi will be here to help us welcome her to the world.

I could go on and on about all the support and love we've received from family and friends, near and far. We've been blown away by the generosity and care we've experienced. If you're reading this and you fall into that category, know how much we love and appreciate you. Can't wait to introduce you to our baby girl.

Graduation

Back in May I had the privilege of taking part in the 257th commencement ceremonies at the University of Pennsylvania. 257th. Crazy to think about. The first class graduated in 1757. Ben Franklin attended. This year, the university welcomed the Vice President as the commencement speaker. It was an entertaining privilege to say the least.

Graduation came at a funny time for me. I finished my bachelor's of science in nursing back in December, and I won't be finished with my master's until August. So it didn't feel like the celebration of completing either. Even still, it was a nice time for me to reflect on how richly God has blessed Ben and me with academic opportunities. The journey to this point has felt very, very long. And yet I feel like I am just waking up to the dawn of the next stage.

When I was still applying for NP programs and Ben was just in his second year of seminary, my mom sent us a package of Montana jams that we love. She addressed the package to Pastor Ben and Kristin NP. She's supported our dreams before they fell within reach and it was especially meaningful to sit beside her as I listened to the Vice President's speech.

After the morning ceremonies, the School of Nursing hosted a reception for graduates and families. I felt really proud to introduce Ben and my mom to some of my professors and the director of my program. We took some pictures, gave my mom a brief tour of the building, and then headed over to the Kimmel Center for the nursing graduation. I got to walk across the stage twice, once for the BSN, once for the MSN. Laura Bush gave the speech, another privilege (although not as entertaining as Joe).

Mom treated us to a celebratory dinner at Parc, the restaurant where, more than two years ago, over a bread basket and hot chocolate in the middle of a rainstorm, Ben and I decided to move to Philly to pursue this dream.

We still have a year left of school. If everything goes well in the next year, Ben will graduate in May from Westminster Theological Seminary with a Master's of Divinity. I could not be more proud and I look forward to that graduation more than I did to mine that just passed. Going to school together has meant that each individual success is a shared victory. Even when I turn in my last papers in 2 weeks there's a part of me that won't feel I'm finished until Ben is finished. It hasn't been easy going to school together. But it's been a remarkable privilege for which we're grateful.

So thankful for Steve

A few years ago, when Ben and I first moved to Philadelphia in the summer, I was still enthusiastic about running outside. Jogging is one of my favorite ways of getting to know a place and I tried scheduling a different route for each run. I'd wear the lightest attire possible, don my headphones and little iPod, battle the heat and humidity for as long as I could stand it, and take in West Philadelphia. We had decided to take a little break from attending church for the summer so it became my habit to download the podcasts from our old church and listen to them on my jogs. Not only was it a way to continue learning from the wisdom and craft of our former pastor, it made me feel connected to the community of people I loved and missed (and still love and miss). 

One day I decided to take a longer jog along the Schuylkill River (one of the rivers that carves out West Philly from Center City...if you follow it 20 miles from Philly you eventually get to Valley Forge). I hit play on the iPod and the first sermon began. Maybe it was a milder day or maybe I didn't have class that day or maybe it was just a really captivating sermon...but either way, after the first sermon ended, I just kept jogging. The second sermon started. I was one of the only people out on the river trail that day and the solitude and serenity of my scenery coupled with Mark's steady stream of words made me forget about my muscles for a while. 

As I neared the end of the second sermon, I figured it was probably time to turn around (now that I had two sermon's worth of jogging to get back home in front of me). The second sermon ended, there was a brief pause, and then a different voice filled the silence, beginning the third podcast. It caused me to stop jogging. I smiled and sat down in the grass. I didn't want to miss a word. 

I first heard Steve Aurell speak at a 20's group, maybe 6 years ago. He gave his testimony. I remember his slow pace of speaking, his slight drawl, his honesty. It wasn't so much the drugs or the prison time or the car wreck and injuries that nearly took his life that intrigued me, although he's a captivating storyteller. It was his humility that I remember well. His way of framing his failures and successes and pain and relationships in such a way that spoke so eloquently of a battered life restored by God's perfect grace. It was his voice and eloquence that caused me to stop jogging, sit down, and take in whatever he had to say. 

Each time I heard him speak after that initial meeting, I was moved by what he had to say. One Friday Ben and I even had the privilege of attending a Higher Power service. This was a ministry that he led for recovering addicts. I'm pretty sure that everyone of us is addicted to something and could benefit from his ministry. I'll never forget sitting in the back and watching as people streamed in. It was like watching a huge family gather at a dinner table. Everyone who entered got bear hugs and was looked in the eye. Some people were crying. Others were guffawing. No one really cared if they stood out. The next Sunday at church I was struck by how stiff and proper the hugs appeared compared to the embraces of that crowd on Friday night. I think that it takes the humility and embrace of a leader like Steve to create that sort of atmosphere among a group of people. 

I appreciated the few times I got to talk to Steve at the staff Christmas parties. He was just the same one-on-one that he was in front of a congregation. Still the slow pace of speaking, the subtle sense of humor, the genuine conversation. 

A few weeks ago, a good friend called Ben to let him know that Steve had died the night before. I always knew that he had pancreatic cancer. It was always evident he was in pain though he never complained. It was easy for me (and maybe others) to ignore the diagnosis, to assume it would go away (though it rarely ever does) as a way of believing he would always be around, that there would always be one of his sermons sprinkled into my podcasts, that we'd get to talk to him again when we come back for visits. We've been gone for a while now and out of the loop, and didn't hear many updates on the situation. I didn't realize he had been very sick for close to a year. 

Ben got to attend the memorial service this evening, on a Friday night. I imagine him embracing people that we haven't seen for a while, that we love and miss, that gathered together tonight to honor the life of a man so many of us will miss dearly. You know someone has finished well when the pain felt by his absence is soothed by the image of his restoration. It brings great peace knowing that he has been drawn to his resting place, fully complete now and no longer in pain, embraced by his loving Lord and Savior, the One who fashioned his life into a powerful image of grace that each of us will carry until we too are finished here.

I'm so thankful for Steve and his life, thankful that Ben and I got to know someone like him in the early years of our marriage, thankful that the timing worked out so that Ben could join dear friends in honoring him tonight, thankful that his sermons are archived and I can continue listening to them (even though in my West Coast weakness the jogs have moved to the gym). We pray for his family that they will be comforted. We look forward to meeting him again.  

2 weddings and some Auntie time

A good friend from my program got married in May and Ben and I had the honor of attending. It took place at such a classy, beautiful setting in downtown Philadelphia. 

Congrats Liz and Jon! I still don't know how you planned such a fabulous wedding in the midst of a very difficult semester. You're amazing!

Future pediatric NPs :)

Keeping it classy

Right after that I had the pleasure of making a super quick trip back to CA for a friend's wedding and some excellent Claire time. It was way too short of a trip but I'm thankful for what I got. AND there was a most excellent surprise waiting for me at the airport in Philly when I returned....MY MOM!!!

Kim picked me up and I had a great time meeting baby Will and catching up (just forgot to take a picture!). Then, had dinner with these dear friends.

At Shanghai Dumpling House, of course

The next morning I woke up to morning giggles from this beautiful girl.

Very proud of the sound her hand can make by rubbing it against the table.

And VERY excited to show me her jumping skills. 

Got to spend the day with Grandma Janice and Rocko

Excellent neck control.

Claire and Kayleigh got some fun play time. I had fun with their mamas.

I also got to enjoy the warm hospitality of Annie and Chris in their brand new home! This is us taking a walk around their neighborhood. We got to join some good friends for a super fun wedding dress shopping session, but of course those pictures are secret :)

Saturday was Joe and Jenny's beautiful wedding.

Together again.

Sass.

She loves her daddy and I love her rolls

We also got to spend the day with my precious Papa. I don't hold it against him for being a Trojan. Here he is holding his great grand baby's hand.

Like I said, way too quick of a trip but fortunately, Ben and I will be back again this summer. He will be interning at Canyon Creek Church and speaking at a houseboat camp for 6 weeks this summer. I'll join him for the last week in August. Can't wait to return and see how much Claire has grown!

As I walked toward the exit of the Philly airport, Ben was waiting for me inside. That's funny, I thought to myself, why did he park instead of just waiting for me to meet him outside? But before I could ask him, he swung me around and there was my lovely mom, running up to give me a hug. It was the most special surprise to have her there at my graduation. Those pics coming soon.

Spring Flowers

Spring came late this year but oh my, was it worth the wait. I have never seen so many trees covered in beautiful blossoms. They are mostly gone now, replaced by lush green leaves. In fact, there are places that Ben and I drive through to get to church that all of a sudden feel much smaller because a curtain of thick leaves conceals the spaces we used to see in the winter. I have really loved experiencing seasons over here and have come to appreciate that it's not just about the beauty that exists within each season, but rather the transitions....how lovely a cool breeze is after a summer of suffocating humidity, and how fragrant tree blossoms are after months of barren branches. Here are some of my pictures.

Rittenhouse Square

Birthday lunch at Parc (I realize there are no blossoms in this picture, but it was such a beautiful spread I felt it belonged in this post).

Fitler Square

Campus

Campus

Our block

Our next door neighbor

Caught in the act.

Spring is finally here!

I get it. Philadelphia is not California. And, I get it. The winters here are not even that bad. But after months of wearing a coat that makes me look like a big black puff ball, walking in the light of a sun whose warmth cannot be felt, and constantly wrapping scarves and layers around my neck to go outside in the icy wind just to peel them off every time I step inside an overheated building....dare I say the first few days of our Philadelphia Spring are more appreciated than most days in California.

Spring is here and it is so lovely.

Snow!!!

We are finally experiencing a Philly winter (most people would say last year didn't really count because it was so mild). I have had fun walking around after the snow falls and feel like I am getting to know my favorite spots all over again.

Campus

Nursing school

Cohen Hall

Brotherly Love

Ben

Locust Walk

Campus

Our block

The next morning's view

Clark Park

Clark Park